She developed a work friendship with her coworker Jo-Beth, who loved to tell bizarre stories about boating adventures and a variety of odd jobs. Invite your nerd neighbor Jameson with the drooling problem to every hangout. Develop allergies to said foods. But like a lot of people, she sucks at confrontation. Learn their favorite foods. Of course, simply stating, "I don't want a relationship with you" or "I'm not interested in you romantically" comes off a little harsh. This gave Jo-Beth an excess of false hope, and she continued to pursue Ember to no avail. 4. If you don't like someone romantically (or otherwise), you have to tell them clearly or they'll find any and all glimmers of hope in your wishy-washy wording. Marry them, settle down, have three kids, move to a cute-sounding suburb in the Midwest, incite an explosive argument and admit that you never loved them. What do you do if you accidentally poop during sex? Maintain eye contact. Our friend Ember worked the night shift at a local sock warehouse, cataloguing the daily surplus of foot apparel. 22. Then reply “Sorry, didn’t see this!”. Ask them about their bowel movements. Convince them to join a softball league with you. When you say this, you will hurt the former friend. Open their texts. Become the captain. Happily date for 15 months before mysteriously dumping them and leaking pictures of you and a steamy British actor snuggling on the Internet. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. 8) Don’t do over text. Don’t ask for their number. Share the press release on their wall. Telling someone you like them is really difficult, but these 18 tips will make it WAY easier. 16. Show them your half-finished Rube Goldberg machine if they don’t believe you. 14. Ember, however, wasn't romantically interested because Jo-Beth had an unpleasantly oily complexion and lived in a tent. Chris Watts Doesn’t Like How He Was Portrayed In ‘American Murder: The Family Next Door’, If You’re Having Trouble Finding Your Soulmate, Read This, Kayla Liptrot Explains How To Find Self-Love Despite An HS Diagnosis, We Need To Stop Apologizing For Just Existing, It’s Okay If You’ve Forgotten What Love Is Suppose To Feel Like, This Advice From My Therapist Helped Me Finally Get Over My Ex, 50+ Encouraging Muhammed Ali Quotes on Life, Friendship, and Boxing, 5 Serial Killers Who Would Have Gotten Away If It If They Weren’t Complete Idiots. Microwave your cell phone. Create NECCO Sweethearts with phrases like “Don’t Call Me” or “We’re Platonic” or “Die Alone.”. You may unsubscribe at any time. It helped pass the dull hours at work. Not every situation requires a candid approach, but when you need to tell someone you don't like them things get much more awkward if you avoid it. DO THIS: I'm not interested in you romantically. Surgically transform yourself into that person. Tell them you don’t have time to date – your days are numbered. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. For that reason, you don't want to make the decision lightly. Draw a photo of a couple. Tell them that you have plans. Although such statements may seem harsh at times, you can communicate clearly without turning into an asshole. Light it on fire in front of them. Show them your half-finished Rube Goldberg machine even if they do believe you. Learn about us. Volunteer for a one-way trip to Mars. Wondering how to deal with nosy neighbors, obnoxious airplane passengers, and people with no boundaries? 29. 20. That's okay, so long as you learn to break the news clearly and respectfully. Send them Snapchats of you watching Netflix all weekend. Sign the divorce papers in Sharpie with the composed look of someone who doesn’t care, because you don’t. You can't get around this uncomfortable reality. 6. Wondering how to deal with nosy neighbors, obnoxious airplane passengers, and people with no boundaries? Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. This leaves open the possibility that a fixable problem exists that your romantic suitor can solve. In this excerpt, Dachis and Elson explain the best ways to tell someone you don't like that you don't like them. Describe your bowel movements in detail. Like articles on Facebook titled “How to Tell Someone That You Don’t Like Them” or “How to Friend Zone.” Tag them. 21. They can still ask why, but so long as you continue to make definitive statements they can't do much to change the reality you present. You can soften the blow with the tone of your voice and a little extra explanation: I still like you, but I just don't want a romantic relationship with you. Announce that your phone broke and you lost all of your contacts. Don’t pick them for your team. Marry them, settle down, have three kids, move to a cute-sounding suburb in the Midwest, incite an explosive argument and admit that you never loved them. 9. In the end, it's better for everyone. Explain that you’re focusing on your career right now and aren’t interested in dating. Turn on read receipts. Jo-Beth figured that Ember's newfound appreciation of boats might have opened her up to other new possibilities and went in for a kiss. You can find more awkward advice from Adam Dachis and Erica Elson in their book, the Awkward Human Survival Guide, on their blog, and their podcast. Every time they lean in, cough violently. Ember would politely deny each time, never getting to the root of the problem. Don’t respond. Even if you manage to get along with a diverse crowd, you probably don't want to date them. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. 26. 8. 18. 13. ... For example, if you like them because you want to be seen with them to make you look cool, ... so be proud of yourself for having the bravery to tell someone you like them. DON'T DO THIS: I don't think we should date OR I can't go out with you. 23. 27. Forget their birthday after promising to make it “the best birthday ever!”, 7. Don’t respond. How To Tell Someone You Like Them Without Making It Awkward: 11 Proven Tips! Nevertheless, Jo-Beth convinced her to go out just one time on a day cruise. Respond to every text with the GIF of Steve Harvey looking confused. How to make it clear to someone you … How to make it clear to someone you don't like them? Ember didn't want to be rude, so she let the kiss happen. The world contains Republicans, Democrats, hipsters, gun-rights crusaders, members of PETA, motorcyclists, reality TV stars, other drivers, writers, and many more distinct groups filled with opinionated people. Wait three hours. 11. That said, the pain will heal faster if you don't leave any room for interpretation and let them know they need to move on. When you say you're not interested (romantically), however, you make your feelings clear. Also, Ember wasn't a lesbian. 24. 17. What do you do if you accidentally poop during sex? Lifehacker's Adam Dachis and co-author Erica Elson will help you traverse the awkward in The Awkward Human Survival Guide, out today. Honestly, Ember was a bit of a wimp. 10. One night, while packing hosiery, Jo-Beth worked up the courage to ask Ember out on a date. I’ve heard amazing stories about friends who found their perfect match online, but I’ve also heard some pretty awful dating app nightmares that would put you off from swiping right. When you're vague, people struggle to find that elusive thing we all want in our failed relationships: closure.